people start a conversation with, " I just don't know how in the world you are single?" My reaction typically the same as I smile in return and shake my head. They stare at me wide-eyed and waiting for some grand answer. I am often confused as to what they are wanting to hear. Was I supposed to feel complimented by that or slightly offset that you think because I am so great I should automatically be in a relationship. Did you want me to say thank you? Or were you trying to feed me new information; because I already know I am single -- and awesome. Note taken.
I usually tell them I am crazy. Or that there is just so much awesome in me, one man could not handle it. But mostly I just laugh it off, knowing their intentions are good and their hearts are in the right place.
And it's no surprise there is a whole culture around single men and women, propelling itself each day as more media and dating apps are thrown our way. Rules and lists and articles of the do's and don'ts. A blog on waiting for Mr. Right or being an independent woman. I think I was supposed to kiss dating goodbye and wait for someone to knock on my door but I live in a gated apartment. (do I give out my security code just in case?) I feel like I should be doing more and striving less. Acting cool and from what I hear "men love bitches," but do they? I don't.
So. many. things.
And lets just take a moment for all the brave ones who week in and week out go on dates. Ask each other out. Be courageous and put themselves out there. Opening themselves up to rejection and quite possibly love. I celebrate those people because for so long I was not one of those people. It was easier to hide behind a screen or a past relationship. Anything to keep me from being relational.
It all felt like work, a lot of work, after a long day of work.
But at the beginning of this year something started to move in my heart. I started to hear peoples stories differently and read blogs and articles with this keen awareness to bring back the FUN, the courage, the awkward attempts that make a story great. I was being opened up to desiring community among the people that shared a commonality with me; singleness. Not so we could label ourselves but empower ourselves.
Which lead me to this post, this new adventure. I live in a city full of AMAZING, talented, creative, inspiring people. And a lot of them happen to be new to town or single. So I decided to start something. Anything to connect them to each other. I did't know what it would be and for the most part I am still figuring it out. But what I do know is that, I am living it and taking notes. Taking notes because I am an example of what I want to create for my friends, for my community, for myself.
I am that girl sitting at the coffee shop. The one who spots the cute boy and does nothing but daydream about having the courage to go up to him and give him my number. I would tell my girlfriend to go for it. To just do it. Nike style, go up to him and just give him her number. But take my own advice? Yikes, that is a different story. I would need some extra courage. Which is exactly why I am starting my business -- and in the process taking my own advice.
We can champion for our friends so easily. Now lets champion for ourselves. And know when we do, we are not alone. Maybe that guy(girl) at the coffee shop is trying to muster up the same courage to give you their number. You never know....that is until you just do it.
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Stay tuned for more details on Catch & Release, launching late summer of 2015. Check out my IG @tillielopez for more details on upcoming Stranger Danger parties.
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